100% accurate football predictions. Trust me, I’m definately right

Lets gloss over the fact that I didn’t post the whole of August.  We shall call it my holiday.   As with when I started the blog, lets get back into the swing of things with football.  And my season predictions now that we are three games into the season and the transfer window is now shut.

Arsenal – The scum.  No longer able to hide behind being a young team, if after five years that excuse still stands then Wenger needs to go.  This may be their last chance to win something for a while, with Fabregas surely off next summer.  But they won’t.  Theo has started suberbly (against Blackpool and Blackburn…) but will fade.  Chamakh has a pitiful goalscoring record, Van Persie will get a horrible injury and they still have a useless Goalkeeper.  5th

Aston Villa – McDonald wants the job now.  Do the fans want him?  6-0 to Newcastle? Out of Europe?  I see Villa maintaining their usual position myself.  Milner for £20million + Stephen Ireland is brilliant business but they’re just too predictable. 8th

Birmingham – Mcleish has done well, but how far can he take the club.  A bit of an average team for me, position to reflect this.  11th

Blackburn – One of the dullest teams in the permiership with the dullest manager in charge.  They’ll get a couple of surprise results but will be their usual selves.  14th

Blackpool – I really want them to stay up.  It’s a great fairy tale story and I’d love it to continue.  And Ian Holloway is a legend.  I used to watch QPR a lot and I loved him.  So heart over head here.  17th

Bolton – Please fuck off out of the Premier league.  You are boring, you don’t fill your stadium and you have a bit of a twat in charge after he sacked Burnley off.  18th

Chelsea – Champions.  Comfortably.  I hate to say it but they’ve looked irresistable so far.  Drogba is a machine, as is Lampard.  Terry, for all his character faults is still inspirational at the back.  They have a good manager and they look solid again.  I can’t see past them.  1st

Everton – As usual they’ve started nice and slowly.  But somehow they still possess Arteta, Cahill and Pienaar. Fellaini is oddly good and Moyes has turned into quite a manager.  They’ll overtake Villa and could go very high up the table if they find their end of season form sooner this year.  7th

Fulham –  They’ve lost Hodgson and I’m not really a Hughes fan.  He has a tough job to live up to the dizzy heights of last season and a lot relies on Zamora to have another excellent season, I’m not convinced he can though.  They’ll be safe but never really in on the Europe trail.  It’s just too much of an ask.  10th

Liverpool – Sorry scousers, it’s not going to happen.  Hodgson is good but they have too much work to do to get back into the top four.  Can Torres stay fit?  Can the real Gerrard turn up?  Carragher is ageing and Joe Cole is not as good as Benayoun, who is massively underrated and was very underplayed with Benitez.  But then Benitez is a clown.  And he’s left Liverpool in a right mess.  6th

Manchester City – Alot of it all depends on how well the new players gel.  Yaya Toure is a great player in my opinion and could boss the midfield for them this year.  The problem with City though is their negative tactics – three defensive midfielders at home to Liverpool anyone?  They lost to Sunderland and were outplayed at White Hart Lane so it really is a case of how quickly the gel, and if they have the patience with Mancini.  The smart money is on a top four finish though, and with Champions League football to offer they will be unstoppable in the transfer market next year.  3rd

Manchester Utd – One day Giggs and Scholes will retire, and then Utd are screwed.  This year however they’ll compete but fade away.  Scholes has started fantastically and I fancy Berbatov to have a big season (he’d better, I have money riding on it…) but Rooney is way off the pace and to do anything they need him firing on all cylinders all year long.  There’s just something about Utd that isn’t quite there anymore and I think alot of teams are alot closer to them than before.  This season they’ll finish ahead of City, but you have to fear for them in the future when the old guard are finished and they don’t have the money to replace them.  2nd

Newcastle – The opened a few eyes with their thumping of Villa but I don’t expect anything else out of the ordinary from them.  They won’t go down but how far up the table they finish depends on big Andy Carroll, but he’s no Shearer.  12th

Stoke – Some fantastic last minute business has set Stoke up nicely and they could well be a surprise package.  Eidur Gudjonsson in particular is a great signing and I wouldn’t have minded him back at Spurs.  Tony Pulis is quietly assembling a very handy team and don’t be surprised if they finish in the top ten. 9th

Sunderland – Bragging rights in the North-East to Newcastle I’m afraid.  Is their new striker worth £13million?  No.  Can Darren Bent replicate last season?  No.  So do they have the quality and goals to get amongst the upper half?  Definately not.  And yet they beat City.  Freak result in my opinion.  13th

Tottenham Hotspur – Yes I’m going to be biased, obviously.  I bleed lillywhite.  Some people have tipped Spurs for a title tilt.  It won’t happen.  The Champions League will prove a distraction and serious consideration needs to go into which sides to field in the Carling Cup.  I don’t like the signing of Gallas.  Van Der Vaart for £8million on the other hand gives all sorts of tasty options and Gareth Bale continues to excel.  Incidentally, Milner £20million.  Huddlestone + Bale + Lennon + Van Der Vaart + Krancjar = £19million.  Back to the point, Spurs will be closer to the Champions than ever in my lifetime but they have to stay in the top four to keep bridging that gap, and they will, just.  4th

West Brom – Nobody will be surprised if the yo-yo team once again join us for just the season.  Then back to the Championship, consolidate, and back up again.  It’s not a very interesting story anymore and expect it to be repeated.  19th

West Ham – Relegation battle.  They just don’t seem to get any better.  Keeping hold of Parker was essential to their survival and I feel Carlton Cole will come good eventually.  They’ll both have to produce the goods this year.  Despite their annoying owners West Ham will still be here next year, by the skin of their teeth.  16th

Wigan – Similar to Bolton, just go, nobody wants you in this league.  0-4 v Blackpool, 0-6 v Chelsea…  and then they go and beat Spurs??? They’ll still go down though, and nobody will shed any tears.  20th

Wolves – Will they ever sign Mancienne?  Or just always loan him?  Wolves should be safe though I hope they don’t do the double over us again.  It would be lovely to see Mick McCarthy get the boot though.  15th

FA Cup – Tottenham.  The year ends in 1, so Tottenham, provided they give it enough attention.  The squad is good enough and big enough to give it a real go on most fronts and they can beat anyone.

Carling Cup – Everton – Realistically the best route to Europe with most of the big boys taking it very lightly, wouldn’t be surprised to see them beat Villa in the final

Champions League – Chelsea – Semi final, Man Utd – Quarter final, Arsenal – Quarter final, Tottenham – Last 16

Europa League – Manchester City – Winners, Liverpool – Quarter final

I look forward to seeing how very wrong I am come the end of May.

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About Lanelord

I am an opinionated sports-mad 25year old news junkie who didn’t fancy spending the money to finish a Broadcast Journalism degree. I am interested in all genres of news and tend to have something to say on just about everything. I have worked in the press offices for ITV and Holby City on BBC1 as well as doing more technical jobs such as for the Digital TV Group. Having previously worked selling sports hospitality I have recently been made redundant from my job as a project manager for a global exhibition company. Whilst I work out and find my next role I thought I'd try and give this another go - this time combining the news commentary element with my own creative writing attempts Follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/AaronKing11
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6 Responses to 100% accurate football predictions. Trust me, I’m definately right

  1. Joel says:

    Look like a professional analysis. Hope you’re proven right.
    I only thought Wolves should be higher in the ranking, maybe somewhere mid-table.

    • lanelord says:

      Thanks, I hope I am too. I find it hard to gauge Wolves, but it is going to be such a competitive league this season any team could go three places either way by the end…

  2. balladeer says:

    Good to talk to another sports blogger! Interesting post. Very educational since I don’t usually follow your football. You may make a fan out of me!

    • lanelord says:

      haha, we actually use our feet with our football 😉 well if I can keep you interested I’ll probably be doing a review of matches and happenings every week or so. It would be more often but I like to write about a wide range of things. Watched the Jets and the Dolphins the other night actually, don’t know if it was a repeat or what but looked like a great game to me. I look out for the Rams myself but they’re never on TV over here. its half 3 in the morning here, but I’ll check your blog out tomorrow, cheers for reading mine, hope you come back

  3. Awww, I got so excited hoping you were talking about American football. 😦

    • lanelord says:

      sorry! i’ll give you my precitions for the NFL then…

      The Rams will do nothing, as per bloody usual, New York Jets will win the Superbowl. If I’m right, you have to become a Tottenham fan in real football 🙂

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